Stitching My Story

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

  

As much as I like order and organization.....

"As I ran this morning I started to see a pattern in my life.  As much as I like order and organization, sometimes this inhibits me from making the important changes I need to make.  Because you see, some changes require a mandatory period of messiness in order to get to clarity or cleanliness."

Kristin Armstrong, Mile Markers

Ready or Not.... Here comes 2011!

 

My word for 2011 is:

BREATHE.

I need to remember to stay present in the moment... to slow down and be mindful.

 

My motto for 2011 is:  

REMEMBER WHO YOU WANTED TO BE.

 
2010 was a year of significant changes (understatement... understatement.... understatement). Some of these changes led me off of my intended and authentic path. I was having trouble recognizing myself there for a while, but I think things are headed back in a good direction.

 

My GOALS for 2011 are:

1. Begin classes for my Graphic Design degree.

Textiles will always be my first love but, in five days, I start on my graphic design degree. I can't wait!

2. Maintain my current fitness level... and build on it.

2010 saw major improvements over the previous year in my dedication to running regularly (I just heard my running buddies snicker. I am referring to the past YEAR... not the past week). This year I want to hold onto that momentum and build on it. I want to work up to one weekly long run of 10 to 15 miles.... most weeks.

3. Participate in the Sketchbook Challenge.

This should fit in nicely with my other goals, don't you think?

4. Complete the 2011 reading list that my friend Debbie and I decided on.

  This is January's selection... More titles to come!

5. Come together CREATIVELY more often with other people.

Some ideas so far: going to ARTFEST in April, joining a knitting group (hear that BFF?), volunteering at the local arts organization, taking felting classes with Cindy, Betsey, and Hilary when she is in town, maybe finding my way back to a quilt guild meeting or two. I love the quiet and safety of my studio, but I think I need to step out a little.

6. WRITE WRITE WRITE

I am committing to writing 3-5 days a week. No excuses. Butt in chair... middle-aged-reading-glasses on nose (I bought five pair last night)... pencil in hand. This is actually the hardest goal to put down on the list. It makes me want to run and hide under a blanket. It's the goal that is MOST outside of my comfort zone. (p.s. it doesn't have to be A LOT of writing to count... whew... typing that part made me feel better).

7. Say YES to family.

Dad's death was a painful reminder that time together on the planet is finite and precious. As a friend once wisely told me, "keep the main thing, the main thing".

Dear DC and the Units...

You are, and will always be, the main thing.

8. Drink more water.

This one sounds the simplest, and may actually end up being the hardest.

I do love my diet coke *sigh*

9. Make sure my BFF knows that she is INDISPENSABLE, IRREPLACEABLE and LOVED beyond measure.

Honestly... I hit the jackpot in the best friend department. I can't imagine doing this life without you, Cindy.

"zo"

10. Take good care of dear cowboy.

This man has gone over and above the call of duty this past year. Losing dad and job changes made being my husband in 2010 a WEE bit challenging (understatement... understatement.... understatement). I'm going to try to do a better job of being a fully functioning HALF of our team this year. I love you, DC.

I am wishing you a happy, healthy, creative new year.

So when did this happen?

Somewhere along the way I became a middle aged woman with terrible eyesight and no attention span to speak of. I'm thinking that these are relatively new developments since I hardly recognize myself most days.

I keep hearing the phrase "second act"... is this how it begins?? I'm torn between moments of sheer panic, and the desire to get a bag of popcorn, sit back and watch for what happens next!

View from my Journal...

 

Thoughts Over Coffee....

 I admit it. I'm a perfectionist. Far, far, far from perfect, but a perfectionist none-the-less. I don't like messy parts of the story. This trait frequently gets in my way and holds me back because every story has messy parts.

And honestly... I'm not sure how this new coffee gig is going to play out.

My BFF says I probably needed the summer off between jobs. She is a VERY smart cookie. I'm guessing she is not far off the mark.

I am finding that....

I like coffee, but mostly I like my coffee. I'm not sure if I like making other people's coffee.

I have a lot of respect and admiration for the culture, people, history and philosophy behind the company, but I'm not sure I need to be on the service side of the counter to fully appreciate it.

I like the paycheck, but I'm not sure I'm willing to exchange the time for the money right now.

I opened my journal today and it landed on a page where I'd scribbled: TRUST YOURSELF AND LEAN TOWARDS WHAT FEELS RIGHT. The problem is, lots hasn't felt "right" since dad died.

The universe seems to have shifted and is now tilted ever-so-slightly off center. This sort of messy alignment is not easy for a confirmed perfectionist to deal with. The current chapter of my story is feeling more than a little messy some days.

"The road to enlightenment is long and difficult, and you should try not to forget snacks and magazines." — Anne Lamott

 

(this one's for you, dear BFF)

My moon....

"Always make sure you get your moon in the right part of the sky."

Herschel Brickell to Eudora Welty, from One Writer's Beginnings

I'm sensing that this is important advice. I've been working really hard to keep my moon in the right part of the sky... to keep myself centered in this time and in this life just as it is right now. So many changes.... Unit three home for the summer, a new job (the coffee bean adventure!), dad's house sitting empty... Things are ok, just a tad bit disorienting.

I am currently enjoying One Writer's Beginnings. It's fascinating to read about Eudora Welty's childhood. It's as if her parents set her up to become an author, surrounded by books and readers and story tellers. It has me wondering about the whole nurture vs nature thing.

I remember as a young child sitting next to my dad while he sewed patches on his work overalls. Overalls that were beyond repair became the cloth for the patches. He would cut the rough, worn fabric a little bit bigger than the area needing mended, set it in place and begin sewing. His stitches were tiny and perfect, and he was calm and relaxed as he worked. He would sit and sew and talk to me... sing to me... listen to me. It was mesmerizing to watch the needle come in and out of the gray overalls at perfectly space intervals, making stitches that were all the same length. This time with him was peaceful and comfortable; happy and safe.

Do these times with my dad have anything to do with why I find my comfort and happiness in stitching? Do our experiences as children create our realities as adults, or was I (as the button on my jean jacket boldly states) BoRn To sTiTcH? Would I have loved needles and thread regardless of my upbringing? It's interesting to think about. It makes me wonder what my children will take (or have taken) away from their family home.

In Seattle you haven't had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it's running. ~Jeff Bezos

If only it was that simple...