I consider myself a visual person... someone who is better suited to pictures than words. But.... I have this quiet, tiny dream of being a writer. Writing for who or what, I don't know. Maybe just writing for me.
To this end, I am enrolled in a creative writing course at the university. The process of putting words to paper has been both exhilarating and terrifying. Currently I am working on poetry assignments. More often than not, I happily pull out my books to get started, but then struggle through the process because of the fear that I will not be good at it.
Today, while trying to write and re-write the words needed for my current lesson, it suddenly dawned on me: I don't have to be good at it because I am a beginner! The thought made me laugh out loud. Why have I been so hard on myself? I don't expect to be good at a new stitching technique without tons of practice.... why would writing be any different?
Today I am going to be brave. REALLY brave. I am going to post a poem I wrote. Keep in mind that it is the poem of a BEGINNING poet. The assignment was to write a poem based on a photograph.
This is the photograph I chose...
Self Portrait
.
I am behind the camera and you can't see me,
But looking at this image will tell you exactly who I am.
It will expose my dreams and explain my vulnerabilities.
it will highlight my strengths and unveil my weaknesses.
It will tell you who I always wanted to be and who I've become.
.
Lately I find that I am stuck behind the lens in this snapshot,
Unable to clearly draw the next image into the frame.
The passage of time is asking me, rather emphatically,
To back up from these carefully cropped edges and refocus;
To take a more panoramic view.
.
If you look beyond the borders of this photograph
You will uncover the blurry image of a mom with nearly grown children
Who is struggling to find an identity outside of raising her family.
To someone who has spent the last twenty-eight years as the family photographer,
Self portraits are a bit of a stretch.